Lonely Writer

When my husband and I decided to pack up our things and move, I knew at some point I’d face a period of loneliness. The decision to move had everything to do with what type of house we saw ourselves living in, taxes and family responsibilities. It had nothing to do with needing new friends. In fact, in the years since we’d moved to the northern suburbs of Chicago, I’d made some of the best friends, writing buddies and coffee clutchers a girl could have.

6a00d8341c5c2253ef01538f28a54a970b-500wiWith that in mind, however, I knew if I was ever going to start over, I wanted it to be sooner than later.

Writing, for most people, is a solitary pursuit. It’s even more solitary when you’re a writer, as I am, who needs complete silence to be creative. I wish I could write in a coffee shop—Oh, how I wish! I have been somewhat successful writing in libraries, though my habit of reading my work aloud tends to earn me odd looks and “shhhhs” from concerned librarians. Anyway, I say solitary rather than lonely, for just as blogger Nathan Bransford, in his post on Writing and Loneliness, points out, I’ve never felt lonely while writing.Screen Shot 2013-09-18 at 4.20.08 PM

I guess what I’m saying is that the time has come. The period I knew was waiting for me is here. My husband is back on the road teaching and the new people I’ve met, while wonderful, still feel more like acquaintances than close friends. Now, suddenly, when I observe people busy working together in offices and retail stores, I wonder if being a solitary writer is such a good idea. I try to imagine myself in their world…but it only takes a moment for regret to set in. Regret, that is, over the image of myself taking any job that would take me away from the solitary act of writing—and immense gratefulness I don’t have to take such a job. That I don’t need to regret.

Solitude is heaven and loneliness need only be temporary. Soon after I post this blog, I’ll be off to my new Piloxing class. There, with other people I’m—as yet—only acquainted with, I’ll enjoy practicing a delightful combination of Pilates and boxing!

For more on writing, creativity and being alone…


7 thoughts on “Lonely Writer

  1. Anne Courtright says:

    How can you be lonely? I’m only a click or txt away? So are all of us…Change is good for you –
    ps: -just write it out – ie, journal ’til your hand hurts – then you’ll find more great things to put into your next book. Anne


    • Lorijo Metz says:

      Oh dear… you’re so hard on me, but you do have a point. Life is sure different than the last time I made a big move. Old friends are so much easier to keep in touch with. For that, I’m very, very grateful 🙂 Anyway, I’m working on it, Anne. I’m working on it…


  2. Sharon Augsburger says:

    In solitude and loneliness is the best way to make friends with yourself 🙂 love your writing my friend and so glad that it is your companion as it is mine. Boxing and Pilates? oh my goodness!


    • Lorijo Metz says:

      So true, and luckily I like myself (most of the time!). I’m also a loner at heart, but even loners need good long conversations–face to face–not just phone to phone. A lot of good people here in Richmond… in time, those conversations will come. 🙂


  3. childofyden says:

    I know how you feel. Sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I hadn’t moved from L.A. to Savannah. But as a comedian once observed, “Wherever you go, there you are.” The scenery may have changed, but I’m still me.


    • Lorijo Metz says:

      So true. I wonder if you would have written as many books as you have? You’re such an inspiration to me–you’re so prolific! I’m hoping that by breaking out of my mold, I can follow your lead and write, write, write!


      • childofyden says:

        By golly, that’s a nice thing to say. I think perhaps you’re right that by removing other distractions I’ve been able to write more. On the other hand, all work and no play makes Jill a dull girl.


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