I am the proud owner of a Starbucks gold card. I still remember the day I received the announcement in the mail…well, in my email. I was like—Wow, really? You’re sending me, little old me, one of those shiny gold cards. (My husband already had one, which he loved to whip out in front of me, flapping it back and forth beneath my nose while the whiff of superiority made my jealous nostrils tingle.)
So, I waited. And waited. And anxiously waited. Maybe they’d forgotten me. So I called them…well, sent them a message through their website. Hi there, I was just wondering…you recently upgraded me to gold card status and, well…it’s been a while and I haven’t received my new gold card. Perhaps it got lost in the mail…the snail mail, that is.
My worry wasn’t that I hadn’t been upgraded. No, I worried that Starbucks had changed their policy and while, yes, I had gold card status; I would be stuck using the same old green card. They could have just as easily put something in the system, which from that point forward would recognize the bar code on my old card and upgrade automatically.
But, I wanted a shiny gold card!!!!!
Anyway, Starbucks was nice enough to reply to my message…to my whiny demand for acknowledgement. Your gold card is on its way. These things take time. (Be patient. Get a life.)
Finally, the day arrived. I went to my mailbox…the mailbox in front of my house, not my inbox—and there it was, an envelope addressed to me, from Starbucks. I quickly tossed all the other unimportant mail—bills and requests for donations from extremely worthy organizations—aside, and tore open the envelope!
Ahhhhh, at last. There it was—a shiny new gold Starbucks card with my name emblazoned on the front of it. Sooooo pretty. My Precious…
I couldn’t wait to use it. I imagined walking into Starbucks, whipping out my card and watching all the baristas snapped to attention. Mrs. Metz, what can we do for you? Would you like to wait in the special Gold Card member room and have some wine and cheese while we roast the beans for your latte? Please, take advantage of our special Gold Card member’s only bathroom. The toilet seats are heated and the toilet paper soft with the subtlest scent of Columbian coffee. We also have French roast toilet paper if prefer.
Where did I get these expectations? From my husband. He travels constantly for work. As a frequent flyer and hotel guest, he receives “special attention.” Ah yes, traveling with my husband is like traveling with a rock star. At airports it’s, Mr. Metz, please come to the front of the line. Waiting to board the plane means having to wait in a special room filled comfortable chairs, clean bathrooms, free coffee, freshly squeezed juice and treats. At hotels it’s, Oh, Mr. Metz! So nice to see you! We’ve upgraded you to a suite—for free.
As you can see, it’s only understandable that after all these years I would want some of my own recognition. (You would think, as much time as I spend in front of my Apple computer, my Apple iPhone and my Apple iPad, that I would have a gold Apple something by now!)
To make this already long post short, I was thoroughly disappointed when I used my gold Starbucks card for the first time. There was no, Mrs. Metz! No, snap to attention. No…special anything. As the barista handed my card back, along with my Venti latte with an extra shot of caramel, I quietly inquired if they had given me the gold card discount on the extra flavor shot. Sure, came the reply, it automatically comes off when we run your card through.
Well, I guess that’s something.
Do you want to see my gold card? It’s really pretty!